From the Cyber Torah Archives

Parashat Ekev

Friends,

When I was growing up, I never really believed in God. I guess I felt that if I couldn't see something, or feel something, it couldn't exist. I wanted absolute proof of God's existence. I wanted to know.

I met my wife, Carol, when I was at Wesleyan University. She was someone for whom belief in God had always been a centerpiece of how she understood herself in relation to the world. There had never been a question of knowing because she had always believed. I was impressed by this attitude, but honestly felt it was naive.

While in college, I became observant for a variety of community reasons. As I became observant, I felt that Jewish ritual could exist without God. Shabbat is a wonderful time for family and community. Study is meaningful because knowledge leads to good action in the world. Kashrut makes us think about the food we eat. It provides a balance between gluttony and self-denial. Even prayer works without belief in God - it brings a community together and leads to the development of our own capacities as humans.

While it may be possible for Judaism to exist without God, our tradition certainly assumes God exists. Further, our Rabbis teach that God acts in history. We can build meaningful relationship with God. For this reason, our customs around prayer and study teach us to feel an emotion towards this Being that we cannot know only indirectly.

Everyone has picked up a prayerbook, opened to Adon Olam, and seen lipstick stains on the page. My baby, Joshua, now likes to kiss my prayerbook whenever he sees it - because he has seen me do that so many times. We gather our tzitzit together to kiss them before we recite the Sh'ma. There are many ways in which we are trained to show love and affection towards God.

Further, the Torah explictly commands us to love God. V'ahavta - And You shall love God. This too is a mitzvah, a commandment.

Somewhere along the line my own observance led to belief. Prayers helped me develop a spiritual consciousness. Showing affection and love to my tradion - and My Creator - taught me to feel towards that which I cannot directly grasp. Direct knowledge of the type that comes with knowing a loved one or a friend became irrelevant. Action led to belief.

I no longer believe the mitzvot, the commandments, make any sense without understanding that they are God's commandments. Rabbi Ishmael, one of the great Sages in the Mishnah, teaches that the primary religious obligation is to acknolwedge God as our Creator and as our Commander. God's commandments do make sense without God because of their Divine wisdom. Yet their observance goes straight to God.