From the Cyber Torah Archives

As Hanukkah approaches, some thoughts on Christmas.

Christmas is the time of year when questions of Jewish identity surface most strongly because it is precisely the time of year when all of our neighbors share a holiday in which we cannot participate. Unlike Thanksgiving, which is an American holiday, Christmas is Christ Mass. There are two pressures we face at this time of year, one external and the other internal.

Christians put us under an external pressure to participate in their celebration at this time of year. This occurs in a variety of ways. One issue I have heard from people several time is participating in decorating ones homes and in particular lighting luminaries. For those of you who do not know, luminaries are candles lit along a street to be the advent path - the path for Jesus' arrival. They make a beautiful display whose beauty is marred when someone refuses to participate. The question is: what do we do when our Christian neighbors want to have this beautiful display? Do we rain on their parade?

The issue also comes up in school. Schools like to do a "winter" program of some nature that typically includes Christmas songs and generally a Hanukkah song or two. Should our children participate? At what types of songs do we draw the line? I remember growing up that my school had an explicitly Christmas program which included Silent Night. My mother pulled me out. By contrast, the following year we had a program with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Dreidel Dreidel. To be honest, I would have preferred neither song. Yet there is a clear difference between Rudolph and Silent Night.

The final way in which the external pressure manifests itself is in the public sphere. There we encounter all kinds of Christmas displays, whether Santa's in the mall or Christmas music everywhere we turn. Here we have the least ability or need to respond, because we are passive participants. We take no action - we simply live in a society that publicly celebrates another religion's holiday.

There is also an internal pressure. Christmas is a beautiful holiday with wonderful music and decorations. For all that I have issues with the notion of God becoming human in order to understand the human experience, it is an engaging story of redemption. We see all this and we want to be part of it. Our children express this most openly, begging for a Christmas tree or for presents, but all of us feel it to some extent.

How we resolve these issues says a lot about our Jewish identity. We define ourselves both by what we do and what we do not do. I feel strongly that lighting luminaries which are so explicitly religious steps over the boundaries. Belief in Jesus as a god runs counter to Jewish belief. No human becomes God. Further, we can reach God through action in the world. There was no need for an intermediary to give us access to God. For me to light a luminary candle is to participate in an almost idolatrous act.

While singing Silent Night publicly is a similar issue, most of the other questions are far more difficult to resolve. A child who sings Rudolph does not thereby harm his Jewish identity even though the refusal to participate may help strengthen that identity by sending the message that we are different and that our difference is worth maintaining publicly.

I first began to wear a Kippah or Yarmulke about 7 years ago. I was visiting my wife, Carol's, family at Christmas time because that is when all her family gets together. I had been struggling with my own Jewish identity and becoming more observant. I spent a few wonderful days with her family and even went to Church with her family.

I transgressed no boundaries of my own. I was a guest of theirs - they invited me to see and share their holiday as a guest. I went to Church to see the spectacle and hear the music. I did not go to pray and that was clear to all. Nevertheless, all during that weekend I wished I had a kippah on. I wanted for me and for them that clear statement of my Jewish identity. Following that weekend, I began wearing a kippah publicly. I began to make a clear public statement throughout the year of my Jewish identity.

This time of year can be very difficult for all of us. I wish all of us God's guidance in defining our own boundaries with respect toward others and integrity to ourselves and God.